Ramblings

I keep claiming I’ll start keeping a regular blog – I seem to remember half-promising a post and free story at least once a month. Something like that.

A free story every month was always a pipe dream. If my decks were clear, I’d be able to keep the promise. As it is, I have an enormous backlog of semi-complete stories I want to finish before I start anything new.

(Here is the backlog:

Maria – Novel, ready for submission
Gorgeous: Entrance Part One – Novel, awkwardly ready for submission
Mary’s Child: Entrance Part Two – Novel, waiting a final rinse
Entance: Entrance Part Three – Novel, first full draft. Bloated, confused and ugly in a very bad way.
Chaos Tales III: Infodump – Serial Novel, post-production/last-minute rewrites
Into Thin Air – Novel, two shite drafts, lots of notes and a plot outline
Reconnections – Novel, very bloated shite draft, patially detailed epic plot
Country Lane – Novel, hand-written first draft only, somewhere, but I love it

Plus all the others…)

I want to get at least some of them cleared before starting a whole load of new things. If real life leaves me the time and ease to write a quick story just for fun I still will, but I am very much doing the poverty thing just now, working every hour I can get. I’m a little tired.

So, the story a month was always going to be a bust. I knew that and half-promised to be regular with posts like this. My musings and glibberings for our mutual edification; something like that.

I thought about starting a reviews section. Lots of people do that, and I’m not short on opinions on what I’ve read. I also enjoy talking about the stories I’ve been told, through whatever medium, with other people who have also been told.

It wouldn’t be a good one if I did. Before I read, hear or see a story I want to know as little as possible. Even if it is a retelling of a story I know by heart I want to know as little about the way it is told as possible. Following the logic of that – acting how I want to be treated – I give the vaguest reviews. I also like to know something about the tastes of the person I’m giving largely formless opinions to (some of us like gore and others butterflies; those who like both have cool nightmares).

So, reviews are out.

Doesn’t leave much room for things to do in a blog, except for detailing the places I’ve been and things I’ve done or sharing my opinions on the state of the world.

I live five minutes walk from where I work, but I don’t earn enough on a regular basis to do much of anything. It’s maybe a little selfish, but I’ll keep my descriptions of the shitty estate I live on for my stories. Without the monsters, lunatics and blood, they aren’t much fun.

Which leaves the state of the world.

If I knew where to start, I don’t think I’d know what to say or do. Other than profanities, I don’t even know what to write.

The freeform hate in the world around me isn’t worse than anything I can imagine – I write supernatural horror where the bad guys tend to win, often set in Hell – but it is getting pretty close.

Take your pick – which disgusting, broken and evil part of the world springs to mind first?

I could list all the things but it’s all of them and would take a long time.

They all amount to the same thing. All the racism, greed and misogyny, the attitude that wanting something equates the right to have it, that privilege equates superiority – all the wars, all the fear and hate stirred up for ego and profit. All of it.

It’s shitheads treating people badly, to be understated.

I don’t have any answers, but I hate that I’m in the demographic with the biggest proportion of shitheads and I didn’t have the courage to start objecting to the way my peers were sooner than I did.

I’m still not very brave and could probably do more, on every front.

Which is what tomorrow’s for; if I can get out of bed.

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